


Kageyama's Predicament

by starrybun



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Everyone is College Aged, It's pretty cheesy, M/M, Oikawa is mentioned once
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-02
Updated: 2015-12-02
Packaged: 2018-05-04 12:02:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5333387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starrybun/pseuds/starrybun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Not asking assholes for help was in the top three! Top three, and he was in front of Kuroo’s apartment, standing on his shitty doormat with the mittens kittens that he swore were giving him a Look, waiting for him to answer.  </p>
<p>Or, </p>
<p>Kageyama wants to confess his feelings to Hinata, but he isn't confident enough in himself so he goes to Kuroo for help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kageyama's Predicament

**Author's Note:**

> my friend and i have this idea that kageyama has a raging crush on hinata, but hinata is too smitten with kenma to notice his horrible attempts at trying to flirt. the same goes for kuroo. in order to make it up to them, i was given the prompt "kageyama and kuroo bond over jealousy that their crushes are dating each other." when i wrote it out, it didn't end up following the prompt perfectly, but that's okay. i enjoy this version, too! i hope you will, as well.

There were a few things in life that Kageyama told himself he would never do. Number one on the list: reply back to Oikawa’s stupid drunk texts requesting he join him for a threesome. Because… gross, no. Number two on the list: Let cats get the last laugh. Those fuckers and their smug faces and sharp as hell claws were always messing with him, he swore to god. And number three on the list: ask assholes for help. Of course, the list was a lot longer, because he had high standards and he just wasn’t willing to lower them. But, these were the top three things.

Kageyama told himself that he wouldn’t do any of these things and yet, there he was, bundled up in a coat with his hands in his pockets, after just having knocked (very reluctantly) on Kuroo’s door. Not asking assholes for help was in the top three! Top three, and he was in front of Kuroo’s apartment, standing on his shitty doormat with the mittens kittens that he swore were giving him a Look, waiting for him to answer.

It sure was taking him a long time to answer, too. In fact, Kageyama felt that maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all and he prepared himself to turn to leave. To his horror, it was also that moment when Kuroo decided to open the door. Kuroo looked at him with one of the most confused looks Kageyama had ever seen. He was almost as confused as Kageyama was after seeing the ugly sweater he was wearing, but that had nothing to do with the current situation at hand so Kageyama decided to drop the thought.

“Kageyama-“

“I was just about to leave! I just… wanted to check out your doormat. It’s kind of nice. Very festive! Bye,” Kageyama embarrassed himself with his jumble of words and quickly tried to head in the opposite direction. Kuroo yanked the back of his collar and pulled him so that once again, Kageyama was facing him.

“Wait just one second. What were you even here for? Also thanks, I’m glad you find my doormat nice because I do, too!”

“I was just leaving-“

“Kageyama!”

Kageyama took in a gulp of air and said really quickly, “IneedyourhelpwithHinata.”

How many confused looks would Kuroo give that day? Kageyama didn’t know but Kuroo looked even more confused than before. “Could you say that more slowly?”

“Damn it, you asshole!” Kageyama spat. “I said I need help with Hinata. I need to put the… moves on Hinata. I need to romance Hinata. I need Hinata advice. Do you understand me now?”  
  
Kuroo gave Kageyama a look. “Kageyama, don’t you realize- you know what. Never mind. I’ll help you put the _moves,_ ” he wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis, “on Hinata.”

The next thing Kageyama knew, he was seated in Kuroo’s house, nursing hot tea in a gray cat mug. Kuroo’s obsession with cats was a little weird. He felt a bit concerned as he sipped on his tea- oh, was that milk tea? At least the tea was nice. In a moment, Kuroo sat on the couch opposite him with his own mug. He closed his eyes and took a sip. He looked like he really was enjoying it. He even made an “mm” noise as he gulped the stuff down. Was he trying to show off even when drinking tea? Kageyama really wanted to fight him in that moment, but instead, he took another sip of milk tea. Maybe Kuroo had an excuse, the stuff was great.

“So, Kageyama,” Kuroo began. Kageyama looked up from his cup. “It’s time to help you with your problems with shorty.” Kuroo held his mug up, pinky poised in the air, and Kageyama decided that nope, the tea wasn’t good enough, he and Kuroo were gonna brawl it out.

“I’m going to-“

“If you beat me up then I won’t be able to help you with your problems.” Kageyama made a face that was meant to be threatening but looked more like the pout from an ugly cat and Kuroo nodded in approval.

“Well, help me, then,” Kageyama muttered. He placed his kitten mug on the coffee table and crossed his arms over his chest.

“You have to show me what you have first! I have to know the skills so I know where to start.” Kuroo paused for a moment, looking very deep in thought, and then looked as if he had formed the greatest idea in the world. “Pretend I’m Hinata and you’re asking me out on a date!”

Kageyama shot up from his seat. In that moment he was very much done. “No thank you, I’m leaving, goodbye!” He headed for the door, but just as he was about to turn the handle, Kuroo’s voice rang out, clear and true.

“If you leave now, who will help you, Kageyama?” He froze and ran through the list of people he knew in his head. No one stood out. It was hopeless. He sauntered over to where Kuroo was and bowed his head. The tips of his ears were red.

“Fine,” Kageyama grumbled. Kuroo grinned and set his mug down on the coffee table, too. He stood up but then squatted down. It took Kageyama a minute to figure out what the hell he was doing. “You- Oh my god! You can’t do that! He’s not even that short!” When Kageyama gave him a look that read “I can’t believe you just fucking did that” Kuroo doubled over, laughing so hard he started gasping for breath. Kageyama groaned, he wanted to leave.

“Alright, alright,” Kuroo said from the ground after he composed himself. “I’ll take this seriously now.” He pulled himself up from the floor and turned to leave the room. In a second, he came back and stood next to Kageyama. “Hey, Kageyama,” he said, and then added, in a whisper, “scene start.”

Kageyama couldn’t believe he was about to this. Literally every bone in his body was rejecting this exact moment. But, he opened his mouth to speak anyways. “Hey, Hinata. The weather’s looking... pretty wintry right now, isn’t it? Very… snow-ish. Pretty cold.”

Kuroo (Hinata-Kuroo?) looked at him as if he had a third eye. “Kageyama, you dumbass, we’re inside right now.” Could Kageyama get away with murder if he hid the evidence well enough? He grit his teeth.

“Y-you’re right! How could I forget something so… important? Anyways, how are you today, Hinata?”

“I’m doing pretty well, Kageyama! I’ve been doing the usual stuff… like, you know, shoving an entire volleyball up my ass because that’s how much I love volleyball!”

Kageyama was tempted to get rid of Kuroo for another of multiple times that day. “I’ll shove an entire volleyball up _your_ ass if you don’t stop kidding around!”

Kuroo held his hands up in surrender. “That’s the last time! I promise! Uh, anyways, I’m okay, Kageyama. But you didn’t call me here for no reason, did you? Didn’t you have something you needed to tell me?”

Kageyama started to panic. Why did Kuroo have to put him on the spot like that? He racked his head for a response, and finally blurted out, “EXCUSE ME! I seem to have lost my phone number, can I please borrow yours?”

Kuroo gave him a look of disbelief. “Kageyama, what the hell? You’re supposed to be asking Hinata out. You’re not supposed to use bad pick-up lines out of nowhere on him! Plus, don’t you already have his number anyways?”

Kageyama flushed bright red. “I do… I’m sorry! One more try…please.”

Kuroo sighed, then got back into character. “Kageyama, don’t you have something you need to tell me?”

He took in a deep breath. “Hinata… I’ve had something I wanted to tell you, ever since our first year of high school.”

Kuroo batted his eyelashes. “Uh-huh?”

“I want to fucking mash you in the face! With my face. I also hate you! But I want to hold your hand! You make me want to tackle you to the ground, and-“

“Woah, woah, woah! Kageyama. That is not how you ask someone out. That’s how you let someone know you’re really horny but you also want to beat the shit out of them! It’s not the same thing.” Kuroo sighed. “You know what, Kageyama? I don’t think I can help you. I think… you’re a lost cause.”

Kageyama was silent for a moment. The words lost cause echoed over and over in his head. Then, the water works began. At first, a little tear dribbled down his face, then he was a mess. He couldn’t stop the tears and snot from coming, and he hurriedly began to wipe his face with his sleeve. Kuroo melted at that moment and rushed to comfort Kageyama. “Woah! What’s wrong, why are you crying?”

“I just… like him so much! But I’m too awkward to do anything right! I’m a lost cause!” Kageyama sniffled, and Kuroo tried his best to console him.

“Now, now,” Kuroo patted Kageyama’s arms, feeling a bit out of place. “I didn’t mean a lost cause... there might still be a little bit of hope for you. You’re baby hope,” he assured him.

“So that means I still have a chance?”

“Kageyama,” Kuroo started, softly, “Neither of us have a chance. Hinata is dating Kenma.”

“Shit! So… you, too?”

“Me, too,” Kuroo mumbled, sadly.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Kageyama asked. The hurt was visible in his eyes, and Kuroo felt guilty.

“At first, I wanted to make fun of you… but I realized how much you liked him and I wanted to help you.”

“Kuroo,” Kageyama wailed. “You’re such an asshole! But also such a nice guy! You like Kenma so much, but because you like him so much you’re not going to interfere with anything because you love him! What a nice guy,” he sobbed.

“Yeah,” Kuroo said softly. His voice was starting to get shaky. Not now. He could feel his eyes sting with tears, and Kageyama must’ve noticed this because he pulled Kuroo into a hug just as the tears began to fall.

“Kuroo!”

“Kageyama!”

It was at that moment that the door slowly opened. Kenma opened the door, saw the scene of Kageyama and Kuroo latched onto each other, crying, and closed the door slowly back.

“Was that... crying?” Hinata asked.

“Don’t worry about it,” Kenma told him. “I’ll be staying at your place tonight, if that’s okay.”

Hinata smiled, and took Kenma’s hand in his. “You’re welcome any time!”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! if you'd like, come say hi to me on tumblr @astralbun and we can talk about how awkward kageyama is together


End file.
